There was no longer a “Wait until your dad gets home, mister” or “Daddy will give you a bath after dinner.” I had no reinforcement, no one to shoulder the burdens of parenthood, no countdown to the 5:00 rescue.
I had relied so heavily on Aaron. His absence revealed how passive I’d been, as a wife, as a mother, and even as a Christian.
Revelation 3:1b-3 reads, “I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; hold it fast, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you.”
Had I convinced myself I was such a “good Christian”? Outwardly, I was doing Christian things, but inward self-security lulled me to sleep. God had undoubtedly “woken” me from my lukewarm existence.
“Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly – mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready.”
1 Corinthians 3:1-2
Unlike me, Aaron daily reflected the love of Christ with both word and action. He wore Christian shirts to school, though that risked his job. He displayed a sign on his office door offering to pray for anyone who'd slide a prayer request underneath. He invited neighbors to join us at church. If he caught a married friend checking out a girl, he'd knock him in the arm. He regularly fasted and prayed for our family. When friends cussed while playing basketball, he'd ask them to stop. His bold faith came easily, yet his life was cut short. If he was impacting so many on earth for the kingdom of God, why didn't he get more time to do good works? My only answer is God's ways are not our ways.
Would I ever be so reflective of Christ?
Would I live by the Spirit?
Would I trust Jesus to encourage and equip me?
Would I risk everything for the sake of God?
Would I die to self, surrendering my days to the Father?
Because of the Lord's immeasurable compassion and faithfulness, I didn't come completely unglued.
Because of His bottomless love, I experienced joy.
Because God is always and only good, I praise Him forevermore.