Debbie Wilkins Baisden

I've done a lot of stupid things as a mother. Far too many regrets in both word and deed (and thought) that I cannot take back. If I'm being transparent, I've said words under my breath that if my children had dared utter, would've resulted in soap on their tongues. As a young mom with infants, if some of my worst-day thoughts were posted on Facebook I would be on the news. I am the worst of sinners and have apologized often to my sons for my shortcomings. I have asked the

I prayerfully hesitate writing this article. I’ve put it off. I’ve wondered how to put thoughts into sensible sentences. Yet I feel led to write to you about grief. My grief. Not your grief. Because I know the second I start trying to explain it, you may shake your head in disagreement because that’s not how your grief is or was. What I do not want is to define grief or act like some expert in the field. And I don’t want an applause of “You’re doing a great job, Debbi

"Mrs. Wilkins, I'm sorry to tell you that your husband is deceased." Time froze that morning and I along with it. There is no string of words to assemble that can convey that instant when life forever changed. My husband is dead? Aaron is dead? The man who daydreamed with me atop a Mexican pyramid about love and babies, the one who raised his arms in worship at church, the guy who selflessly served others. Gone. Just, gone. But we had just talked on the phone about school

This is part 2 (see “I Shaved My Legs”) Part of the guilt of grief is simply moving forward with life. The more forceful aspect involves the other gender. I had not looked twice at other men for twelve years out of respect for my husband. I didn’t want to. And yet here I was, with an inner battle brewing as I no longer carried the title of wife. I felt guilty for so quickly wondering how I would feel loved and important as life tumbled forward. Would I ever have sex agai

There is something I rarely discuss about grief. It is a pretty horrible feeling that gnaws at all of us and tends to play on repeat in our mind. We squirm and want to hide as we shoulder its shame. I wish I hadn’t….. Why did I….. I hope no one finds out… Guilt. An emotion that doesn’t easily turn off. Think of that one thing you really regret from your past. Did your heart sink and your stomach turn when it came to mind? I never expected guilt after my sweet husband A